I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize