oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize