i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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