So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
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She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
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We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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