4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize