dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize