I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize