So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize