Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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