Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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