hotel room ftw
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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