i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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