FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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