Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize