Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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