She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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