I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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