I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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