His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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