You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
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