Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize