people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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