My cat gives me a boner
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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