I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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