she woke up with a sticky ear
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize