i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize