your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize