I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
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You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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