When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize