I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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