Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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