absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
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How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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