Do vagina's smell?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize