Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
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private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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