He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
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Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
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When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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