she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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