Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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