im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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