I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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