My first STD was from a foam party
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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