The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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