Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize