I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I want to make a zoo with you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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