I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize