Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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