Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize