so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize