am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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