I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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