I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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