I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you win again, gameday.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize